Hannah
Hannah lost her dad in 2017.
She set up ‘Grief Eats’, a Leeds based supper club to connect with other grieving young people.
“My dad loved to cook.
When he made something for us it didn’t stop there - it wasn’t just ‘you eat it, and you go’ he was like ‘how was it? Did you enjoy it?’ and he would talk us through the process of how he made it. I think it just filled him with a lot of joy and he always hoped it would make us happy.
I started Grief Eats because I didn’t know anybody my age [27] who had lost somebody. I was desperate to find people who had been through something similar.
I targeted people in their 20s/30s and found that many felt there wasn’t anything for them. There’s a definite need for this kind of support in this age group.
I had seven strangers come to my home; it was quite disarming that everyone had food in front of them and were eating with each other. The conversation quickly turned to grief and the people we had lost - it was an affirming environment.
“I was trying to find people for me, but now it’s for everyone.”
We were all there for the same reason and it was quite emotional by the end - cathartic for everybody to have that opportunity to meet and share their story.
Relationships have formed from that night so there’s been a bit of legacy in lockdown. That’s a nice thing.
I’ve been using Instagram to explore grief and food - the relationship between those two things. There’s a vulnerability in posting about grief and what it means to you because it doesn’t necessarily resonate with everybody, but I think it’s reaffirming to read other people’s stories because you can take something from them.
Grief isn’t linear, there are endless avenues to explore but what I’ve learnt is there’s a tendency to think that grief belongs to you and your story alone; you forget the endless amounts of painful ways that people lose others.
Written by Faye Dawson
I think it’s important to remember that whilst your story affects how you think about grief it’s individual – there’s so many different ways that people approach it.
The more people talk about it the more it makes the bigger picture of grief more available to everyone. People can understand that their feelings are valid and what they’re going through is completely normal whilst remembering their specific story is theirs to keep and it’s personal to them.
I was trying to find people for me, but now it’s for everyone.
As a child I would bake for my family maybe three times a week. I was never allowed to wash up because Dad had to have some of the cake batter – he loved cake batter.
Now I always leave the washing-up a bit longer because I think he’s going to come and lick the bowl.”