Figen
Figen’s son Martyn was killed in the Manchester Arena terror attack in 2017.
She knits bears as a symbol of peace.
This interview took place in June 2021. The public enquiry into the Manchester Arena attack was underway and would conclude in January 2022.
“In court, when they show images and video footage from the Arena’s security cameras, they sometimes black it out - but I know exactly what’s behind that blackness.
As soon as they put something on the screen I look down at my knitting. At the beginning I didn’t do that - I looked up and within weeks I started having nightmares.
I’m just trying to keep myself safe.
I started knitting bears after a couple of health diagnoses; I had taken to running but found I had osteoarthritis which put a stop to that. I got very low and turned to crafting.
I created individual bears with a story that people could relate to – mental health, anxiety, problems with food, addiction, baby loss – everything. And I wrote a book called Bears Have Issues Too.
In it there is a bear that’s based on Martyn’s own coming out story. Martyn edited it himself. That bear is called Oliver. I gave him flower-shaped eyes.
People started asking for bears with their own story and it really took off.
But when Martyn died it stepped up a gear. They became Peace Bears.
I use children’s knitting needles but technically speaking they’re still a weapon, so I have special permission to allow them into court.
I don’t think I could sit without them and listen to what I’m listening to because some of it is quite horrendous.
I channel everything that comes to me in the enquiry down my knitting needles and into my bears. It helps me – it helps me with my mental health.
“I wouldn’t be able to cope with the enquiry if I didn’t have my knitting with me. Knitting keeps me grounded. It’s a coping strategy. ”
There is research-based evidence that knitting is very similar to EMDR because of the left right movement and that’s why it’s so beneficial to mental health – I really believe that to be true. When it’s been a particularly distressing day I have knitted more and I haven’t even noticed that I’m doing it. There’s a correlation between how much you do and the intensity of it.
The bears are hugely important to me, not just in terms of the creative aspect, but the message I want to send out. They are a symbol of peace, kindness and tolerance; a message of hope.
We live in such chaotic times – to have a bit of light heartedness, to have that little bit of comfort is so important.
When people first see the bear, they smile at it and that moment is magical.
If I can brighten up somebody’s day that has a lot of value. It brings me healing when I make somebody happy.
In grief anger is something you can easily tap into, but for me it was never there.
I realised I could choose how to respond, and I chose kindness and tolerance and forgiveness.
I forgave the terrorist on national TV.
I’m at peace with that.”